I have some friends who are DINKs (Double Income No Kids). They bought a new house in a posh suburb of Detroit a few years ago, in an area with the best schools. The house has four bedrooms. They have one room for them, one as their dog’s room, one as their office room, and another as their yoga/exercise room. And they have a full finished basement with an entertainment room. It is beautiful, but I couldn’t help thinking about the irony that someone with a bunch of kids could really use that space, but couldn’t afford it because they only had one income. But the ones who had the income couldn’t have the kids. And another great irony is that now that I feel that this is one of the most important times for me to be tapped in spiritually because of the impact I am having on my little boys at this crucial time in their lives … it’s so hard to find the time to do the things I need to stay tapped in. Any insight, anyone?
On to other housing thoughts …
We have a beautiful little house in a suburb of Detroit that feels like you are back in the 1950s. The main streets are filled with little shops, you can walk to school, parks, the library and the grocery store. Ivan walks to the barber to get “an education, not a haircut,” and talks with Russ the Barber and his assistants about life, people, politics, etc. Our friends’ daughter walks to the corner candy store with all the kids on her street every Saturday to buy a little treat. You run into people you know at the grocery store at 10:00 at night, but it is still fairly fluid (people moving in and out) so I haven’t felt any small-town social politics, if that makes sense.
But our house was built in the 1950s and it is a little small. It is large for a bungalow but the top floor is an apartment, complete with living room, dining room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom for Ivan’s parents. (Separate enough to feel like we live alone, but close enough that Sam, who wakes up at 6:00, can go up to grandma’s house on his own, and wait for me to wake up at 7:15.) The main floor has our living space with two smallish bedrooms, and then we have the basement. So, I was thinking, two bedrooms=2 parents+3 kids=no problem. But there was a problem.
I had these romantic ideas about being crammed in a two bedroom apartment--“Oh! People in New York and Europe do it all the time. I’ll feel like I’m living in Europe!” Not so much. In addition to tripping all over our coats, bags, etc., and not being able to walk to the front of my bed without walking sideways, there was the most pervasive question of the last five years of my life: how do I get my kids to go to sleep and stay asleep. Sam has slept in the kitchen or living room at least 75% of the time for the last two years because no matter what I try, they are on different schedules and can’t sleep together. (And I’ve read at least 15 “how to get your child to sleep” books.)
Once Ivan got the new job and we knew that we would be here for a while, we had someone (actually a recommendation from Russ the Barber) put in some electrical and can lights, strengthen the wall between the two rooms, and paint the ceiling black. We were going to put in a drop ceiling until we realized that anyone of above average height would hit their head on the ceiling. It actually looks really cool. The black covers up all of the inconsistencies and gives the illusion of height. I think I’m going to get little stick-on stars for the ceiling so I feel like I’m out camping under the stars every night, in complete comfort.
We got a carpet and had the walls painted a light tan and it has a nice feel. So now, in addition to a little empty space in our bedroom, I have padded carpet, an actual desk for my computer (instead of the top of my dresser), and all my books on bookshelves in my room, instead of in storage. And it feels so cozy!
